tuesday night, and my freedom.

It's the look in your eyes when you tell me you care. There's a certain twinkle I see. I feel it in your hugs and your warmest kisses. I hear it in your voice. Your actions reminded me who I was to you.

It's gone.

Now who am I to you?

I admit to my flaws, and yes I did wrong. I'm sorry. You have forgiven me.

Have I forgiven you? No. This post is my public announcement. Time does heal all, but there are things I don't forget. I relive the pain almost everyday, but I chose how I want to relive it. Do I cry? Yes. Not as much as I used to. Letting go is hard, especially when you're close to something you want, but things you want aren't always what you need. It took me a while to learn that. I'm still learning.

There are so many things I have wanted in life but do I honestly need it? If I needed it, it would have been provided, but it hasn't.

Let it go, Sharisse.

If I hold onto you, or the past or anything I don't have, how can I look forward, or even be grateful for what my future has in store? My future is so bright, I have no idea what's in store, but I believe that the higher up already has it planned for me. All I need is time.

How do you forgive? Time. Time is an answer for all problems. I can't change anything in the past, I can only change how I view my future.

Your future is based on your past, but you don't need to carry the pain of the past into your future.

Just let it go, Sharisse. Relax, and let it go.



The Element of Freedom.

Dear Chris,

Well, I stumbled across this picture and I wanted to start this off by telling you how good you look, lol. Anyway...

I’ve watched your rise to fame. I remember the first time I heard “Run It!” on the radio. I was working at a day camp sitting in a tent putting together snacks (don’t ask). It usually takes a while for your songs to grow on me but that one was an instant favorite. I asked around and they told me your name was Chris Brown (Plus once the radio gets hold of a good song, they play it like there is no tomorrow). I saw the video a few days later and I thought you were soo cute and you’re a great dancer. Some time later, you dropped your song “Yo!” and you were so adorable in that video. When I got a hold of your album it was all I listened to. I remember having every song on my iPod shuffle and I couldn’t wait for your next album.

“Exclusive,” your sophomore album was great. I loved every song on that album. I think it’s very underrated but that’s another issue. I remember your “Wall to Wall” video and it seemed to me like you were trying to grow out of that cute stage. And your song “With You” had me dying to be in love so I could feel what you were feeling. I used to sing that song at the top of my lungs back in high school, lol. It didn’t hit me until I saw your “Take You Down” video that you were growing up. I loved that album and that video and your transition from boy to man.

Sometime last year, the Rihanna thing happened. It was a shock and I was sad to hear about it because one, I didn’t believe it and two, I remember thinking “uh oh, his career is gonna go down the drain.” I feel like because of the situation, you will constantly be set back because you pretty much have to start from scratch while she’s living off of the success YOU created, but I digress.

You make good music, and you make mistakes. You’re human. But I didn’t write this letter to talk about that. I love everything you put out. Your mixtapes “In the Zone” and “Fan of a Fan” with Tyga are amazing. I love who you are becoming as a person and I hope you can continue to grow. I also hope the world will one day look past your mistakes to allow you to go back to being the star you are.

Sincerely,

A fan that loves your music and is always listening.

hmm.. #imjustsayin

So as I go onto these gossip websites, I can't help but see Lil Kim pick on Nicki Minaj. Now while I'm not as much of a fan of Nicki as I was when I heard her first mixtape, she's still lyrically talented.

Why hasn't someone from Lil Kim's camp told her to sit down? Teaming up with Ray-J and some unknown hater to get at Nicki and Drake? You're making yourself look desperate for attention you don't need. Why is this even fazing you?

#siddown and #shuddup.

I can't wait for that day I can look into someone's eyes with that same admiration.

Thank Me Nowwww (:

Damn, they put everything on the internet. I haven't bumped it yet, but I hope it's nothing but quality. Unforgettable is one of my favorite tracks on here. There's something about that Aaliyah sample that just pulls me in... anyway, here's the track listing followed by the link:

Tracks:

1. Fireworks (Feat. Alicia Keys) 05:13

2. Karaoke 03:48

3. The Resistance 03:45

4. Over 03:53

5. Show Me A Good Time 03:30

6. Up All Night (Feat. Nicki Minaj) 03:54

7. Fancy (Feat. T.I. & Swizz Beatz) 05:19

8. Shut it Down (Feat. the-Dream) 06:59

.9 Unforgettable (Feat. Young Jeezy) 03:33

10. Light Up (Feat. Jay-Z) 04:34

11. Miss Me (Feat. Lil Wayne) 05:05

12. Cece's Interlude 02:34

13. Find Your Love 03:29

14. Thank Me Now 05:28

Download link:

http://www.mediafire.com/?mrvy34lz5wt

I did it again.

I allowed myself to believe, now I'm picking up the pieces.

may first.

memo to self:

put Sharisse first.

If I don't do it, NOBODY else will.