So as I'm going through my collection of photos of Kid Cudi while listening to his inspiring music, I just started thinking about love and it's effect on my life wait not even my life, on people in general.
I might be a little late, but I'm reflecting:
2009 was a rough year for many of the people I love as far as relationships, even myself! I was in a relationship that I never should have been in, but I forced myself to be there. BIIIGG mistake. I'm still paying for this mentally. It taught me a lesson: don't settle, and don't do anything that you don't wanna do. Live to make yourself happy. Be in a relationship that's beneficial to you and your partner. My ex boyfriend was a real asshole, but I stayed so long because I thought I was wrong for leaving him. Being happy is learning to look past imperfections, right? But how many times would I allow him to fuck up and it would be at MY expense? Nah, homie. You can go find some other girl and make her happy, because I couldn't allow myself to deal with it anymore.
I was so happy when I got out of that situation, especially knowing I shouldn't have been there in the first place. It even bothered me knowing that I was cheated on the whole time, but I'm over it, "on to the next one". But surely again, I didn't wanna be alone so I was out looking for the next best thing when in fact I should have sat my ass down and just reflected. I should have taken the time that God has given me to work on myself to make me an even better person. I met an amazing guy, but he wasn't for me and I'm sorry for putting him through the ordeal that I did. He found it in his heart to forgive me and we remained friends.
Someone from my past came back and it made my "Sharisse" time even more difficult. But he was always and still is a sweetheart. We recapped what happened during the time we weren't together or hadn't spoken. But he decided with what's about to happen in his life, it's best we don't pursue a relationship. I was pissed but hey, you can't be with everyone that you meet.
A close friend of mine was in a healthy relationship and 2009 would have made a third year, but there was some miscommunication, and things ended horribly. She took the break up hard but with the strength she has and the love from friends, she has gotten over what had happened to her, or did she? Since the break up, my friend has been looking to fill the void that her boyfriend left in her life. She was itching to jump back in a relationship, even when there were signs pointing she shouldn't have been there. God was lucky enough to save her from what would have been an emotional disaster and I should remember to thank him for that blessing that many women don't get.
Another friend of mine got in a relationship with someone who had a bad reputation. She gave him hassles for everything he wanted to do that didn't involve her. He often told me how he was tired of her, and I swear I heard myself when he was talking. How can you honestly say you're tired of her but continue to put up with her nonsense? I used to say I was tired of my ex but I put up with his shit for 4 more months before I decided to quit. If he was truly as tired of it as he said he was, he would have removed himself from the situation.
I wonder why do we as people deal with shit that we shouldn't deal with? Why do people think we can change someone's bad habits? No one will make a change in their life unless THEY want to. You have to be the reason to wanna change your current situation, or how you go about things. Don't try to leave it up to someone else and when it goes wrong you're mad. It doesn't work like that. Be the change you wanna be.
I think I just went all over the place with this. Now back to my Kid Cudi stalker life ^_^.
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