like paradise...

As I'm laying here listening to Sade, I can't help but to be relaxed and feel mellowed out. Her voice along with the instruments played from the band are exactly what I need on this Sunday afternoon. I wish I could express my soul musically the way they do, but my words are my way out.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I realized I should be focused on what I DO have instead of what I don't. I don't have certain things for certain reasons. God places everything into my life that I'll need when I need it. Of course I'll have mishaps and I'll have amazing times, but they're there to keep my life balanced. Can't have the joy without the pain. I have a lot of personal issues that I realized I can't handle on my own so I ask God for help whenever I can. He's gonna help me win this battle because no one else can :)

Even though I may not have everything I want, I have a LOT to be grateful for. I have both of my parents and they're still married. My older brother is always there for me and I love him for that. I have a room to myself filled with luxuries from a computer to a television to an air conditioner. I have a job that doesn't require me to do much and I have wonderful people around me working there. After some weeding I've done, I realized I have amazing friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Not everyone we grow with are supposed to stay in our lives. I recently had to let go of a female that I've known since 7th grade because she wasn't satisfied with her life and she kept trying to ruin everyone else's. It hurt at first because we were so close, but I had to let go, if not I'd forever be held back. I love her family and I will still acknowledge them when I see them but I cannot continue that friendship.

Life is all about growing and I still have a lot of growing to do. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. Things can only look up from here. As for right now, I'm gonna tune the world out, and turn Sade up as I take a nap that I truly need.